This week, for Black Maternal Mental Health Week, we celebrate black mums. We put them at the forefront of our thoughts and share their voices. But why does this week exist? The latest MBRRACE report, released earlier this month, showed that black women are still twice as likely as their white counterparts to die in the postnatal period. 13% more black mothers experience postnatal postpartum depression than any other group. They are twice as likely to be hospitalised with perinatal mental illness. There are a myriad of reasons for these failures, which are systemic. As an individual, you may be reading this thinking, “What am I supposed to do about that?”. We understand that it’s hard to see a way to make change on a big scale, so we asked black mums what can make a difference to them. Here’s what they said…
Please listen to and respect our wishes as far as possible.
It is true that birth trauma is not an exclusively black experience. As last year’s birth trauma report showed, the experience is all too common. But, with statistics showing that black mums are twice as likely to have their NHS births investigated due to poor care, this feels like an important ask. The NHS is primarily staffed by wonderful, capable and compassionate people. We also know that the systemic problems which affect the NHS create huge pressures on those people. We do not wish to put NHS staff down in any way. We only ask for nurses, midwives, doctors to take that extra moment to make us feel heard and to express out loud what we already know – that they respect our desires in our healthcare processes.
Please know that black experiences and black cultural heritages are not all the same.
It is a wonderful thing to see people making an effort to be culturally conscientious. As global majority people who are in a minority in the UK, it is great when people make an effort to respect our differences. However, the Black community in the UK is a rich tapestry of different ancestries and cultures. On the census, we can choose from “Black African”, “Black Caribbean” or “Any other Black/African/Caribbean background”, with Africa and the Caribbean alone covering 67 different countries! We have different customs, traditions and languages, all of which will play out in the way that we have babies and raise children. Take a great opportunity to learn something new about other cultures.
Please manage your expectations and know that you are included!
One of the stories which we often hear is that white loved ones can sometimes struggle to feel included in the postnatal period. Anglo-European culture tends to do the perinatal period in a more individualised way, with the partner as the primary support network. Black mums are more likely to be used to a more communal style of child raising, known as ‘Allo-parenting’. You might have heard the expression “it takes a village to raise a child”, which, whilst it is not necessarily evidenced as an African proverb, does seem to reflect the experience of many in the black community. One mum we spoke to told a story of her husband sneaking her a meal to feel included during the 3-month period that her mother stayed with them after she had given birth. Please know, dearest loved ones (Dad’s especially!), you are not excluded; our traditions just look a little different.
Sometimes we can feel excluded by our differences.
One sad story which we heard was from a mum who was late to a mum’s group and had “You’re late!” snapped at her, like a telling off. This experience of feeling unwelcome was heightened by her being the only black mum in the room. Whilst all mums struggle with these unfair feelings of judgement and pressure, at such a chaotic time in our lives, black mums may have that extra level of feeling alone. This is the exact reason that Mercy named our group for global majority and black mums “Akwaaba”, the Ghanian word for “welcome”. We want black mums to feel they have a space where they are more than welcome – they are understood and respected. However, this is possible in all groups and community settings if just a small amount of softness and understanding is present.
The take-home message of this blog post, really, is that black mums want the same as every mum – patience, compassion, understanding and respect. However, it feels important, especially in a complicated political climate, to respect the extra layer of complexity experienced by women going through the challenges of the perinatal period as an ethnic minority in the UK. We see so many examples of hard work to improve inclusion and hope that this blog can serve to say thank you to those who are trying and offer some insight into the black mum’s experience. And of course, to mums who are lucky enough to live in the Royal Borough of Greenwich, who need support to cope with anxiety, stress, isolation, loneliness or abandonment, you are more than welcome at Akwaaba.
Written with Mercy Browne, Akwaaba Group Leader and Lilian Abrahams, Akwaaba Facilitator and Therapist.